There are seasons. Always seasons.

There are seasons for clothes. Seasons for makeup. Seasons for hair colors. Seasons for shoes and purses.

Seasons of your favorite TV shows.

Seasons for different Holidays.

Seasons that bring changes in the weather.

Seasons for different emotions and different actions.

What if there are seasons for people?

So far I have managed to live my life with no regret. This is mostly because I just talk myself out of regretting anything that initially drags along with it a sense of regret. I force myself to turn the painful event around and around in the light, so I can see it from all angles. If none of the angles reveals a potential purpose for my pain, I stare into it, through it, and imagine all the ways it could be worked for good. Then I accept it and move forward, trusting that someday I will see the reason. Someday it will all be worth it.

Through my life love and loss has occured with nearly all of my friendships. People who I thought would be by my side, processing every major life event, every emotion, along with me, have faded to the background. New people have come in and been there for a season. A select few I have stayed very close with. But it makes me wonder.

The romances, even the ones I thought were forever, they have always faded. I have seen couple do the same over and over. People I thought would last forever. Feelings I thought would last forever. They fade, fade away. I know there is still that percentage that lasts, but is it out of habit? Is it out of raw commitment?

That's not what I want. I know commitment is important and you have to make decisions based on principle and not just your emotions and all those things are well and good. But sometimes, sometimes you see that couple who keeps their passion, their connection, their "soulmate-ship"afloat. And after several years of hard work and commitment, I want nothing less than that.

I want that love I can't stay away from. I want that desperate passionate completion, beyond what words can express, something that I can't stay away from. From day 1 until year 100.

But what if… in most lives, people are just for seasons too. Long-term relationships, divorce… people survive these every day and go on living. They find someone new. They enjoy it. They say they see why it didn't work out with so and so.

What if that just keeps happening over and over. Till death.

What if everything is only for a season? What if we cling out of habit and fear and that's the only thing that makes it last… except that 1 in a million. The one time you make the right decision and it just… sticks.

I'm not one to over-romanticize. I don't really believe in "the one". Well I don't know, maybe I do. Maybe there is just one perfect person for everyone, and people make wrong choices all the time and that's how it ends up only lasting for a season?

My brain is working overtime. My heart is strained and tired.

All I know is unless I can't resist moving to the next season, I would rather curl up and rest here. Spring will come in its own time whether anyone wishes it or not.

Maybe that's how every season is.