there is nothing like waking up before the sun, lighting a candle, putting in my ipod, and dreaming awake for an hour.

i don't ever want to wear my faith as a title, defining myself as "a christian" and separating myself from others. let me be known for my LOVE.

i want to never forget the trials i have been through. i want to remember both how blessed i am to be spared of so much, but also the way that all my pain has been redeemed. even when it was so deep i didn't think i could bear it another second, He never left my side. and that is enough for me.

i want to thank everyone who has been there to listen, everyone who has encouraged and kept loving me throughout my trials. the smallest things - the comment here, the text message there, the hugs and laughter, they mean so much to me. these things, the demonstrations that i am loved, are the reality my emotional response to circumstance blinds me from. and when you tear that veil, if only for a moment, it makes all the difference.

i am seeing my deepest heart cry answered in the most strangely unexpected fashion. the smallest things i could brush off, but when i look around, like, REALLY look around, its like He's screaming YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!!

and i finally believe him